ACTUAL PERSONALS WHICH APPEARED IN ISRAELI PAPERS


 --Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur,
   Tisha B'av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves,
   Shiva Asar B'Tammuz.  Seeks companion for living life in
   the "fast" lane.

 --Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks
   same in woman.

 --Very pretty, slim, lulav would like to meet fragrant,
   squeezable esrog. Let's do hoshanas together. Pitum a must.

 --Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write.

 --Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

 --Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddush after shul last
   week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your
   gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you
   again? (I was the one with the cholent stain on my tie).

 --Shochet, 54, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest.
   Doesn't believe women should be treated like a piece of meat.
   Seeks glatt kosher maydl for marriage.

 --Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism
   of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.

 --Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male
   who will accept my independence, although you probably
   will not. Oh, just forget it.

 --Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles,
   Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles.
   Seeks non-smoker.

 --Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my
   behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English
   very good.

 --Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce.
   Let's try it for eight days. Who knows?

 --80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile
   Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream,
   can't I?

 --I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your
   heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets.
   Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties,
   please.

 --Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent,
   self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

 --Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing,
   skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

 --Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can
   get get. Get it?  I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.

 --Desparately seeking shmoozing!  Retired senior citizen
   desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and
   krechtzing.  Under 30 is also OK.

 --Shul gabbai, 36.  I take out the Torah Saturday morning.
   Would like to take you out Saturday night.  Please write.

 --Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks
   successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my
   parents' house.

 --Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shule
   with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah
   together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs.  Religion not
   important.


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