MORE OF LIFE'S IMPORTANT LITTLE QUESTIONS Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things. *** I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. *** Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? *** If a mute kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? *** And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"? **** If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong? *** If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide....is it considered a hostage situation? *** Is there another word for synonym? *** Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? *** Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? *** What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? *** If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages? *** Would a wingless fly be called a walk? *** Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?Are they worried someone will clean them? *** Is a shell-less turtle homeless or just naked? *** Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? *** If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk? *** Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines? *** Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? *** Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? *** What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread? *** Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny? *** The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep. *** A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied: "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" = = = = = Now for more amazing hilarity, click 'BACK!'